(Photo credits go to Shanchena)
I was talking to a close friend of mine who is currently going through a heart break. I was talking to him over Facebook and I said I was sorry I could not be there with him. My friend and I have known each other since we were about eight years old. I see him as a brother more than a friend. When I was thirteen I went through my first heart break and Martin was there for me. He laughed at me and said that for my birthday he would force a girl to be my girlfriend. That did not happen when i turned fourteen but laughing did make me feel better. I love him-
Now what I have a problem with is that two letter phrase “No Homo”. I am a fan of Boondocks and I remember the first time I heard this phrase was when I was watching Boondocks. After that I knew that whenever I said anything endearing to a guy I was supposed to say No Homo so that the other person wouldn’t question my sexuality or my intentions. But over the last couple of days I have been reading about Gender roles and Gender expectations. Through these readings I have come to see that as boys or men we live under a lot of expectations.
One of the many expectations that I am speaking out against is that: Men are not supposed to be emotional or show endearing qualities. Doing this makes you less masculine and not enough of a man. If a girl sees a guy crying the immediate thought or phrase that comes out is that that guy is “a sissiy”.
Why can I not just love my friends or my brothers and not have to say No-Homo? I love my friend. Simple as that. As a guy I refuse Media and Popular culture. Human beings were all made with emotions. Yes, it is true some people are more in touch with their feelings than others but being told to toughen up and be a brick wall is not something I subscribe to. Men who abuse their wives verbally and physically usually atest it to not knowing how to process or express their feelings when growing up. So when and if I raise my children I will let them know expression of emotion is normal regardless of who it is. I won’t say to them “You throw like a girl” or “Don’t cry because you are not a girl.”
Ps Martin you will find a hot girl soon if you don’t I will force one to be your girlfriend on your next birthday.